Mora is not getting better. She seems to be struggling to swallow.  It’s like she has something stuck in there. She isn’t guarding her throat and even purrs when I scratch all around her neck and throat area. But her behavior is causing me to have really horrible flashbacks of my dad as he struggled with esophageal cancer.I refuse to let her die from dehydration. I’ll put her down myself before i let her die over the course of days if she’s unable to take fluids.

Times like this simply destroy me. A suffering animal just makes everything else stop. Especially this cat… a seven pound beast that has been our problem child nearly from day one. She’s been a difficult pet, but in so many ways she has simply demanded more from us than we were prepared to give. We are always striving to earn her respect. Isa likes us, Mora tolerates us.

And here’s the thing: if the puppy managed to injure Mora when i wasn’t looking, and if that injury cuts Mora’s life short, I need to understand the dog isn’t to blame; i am. Of course i “understand” that, but i have to reach a point where i can let go of any anger or resentment. I’ll probably never know for sure what happened to the cat. I watched her fend off the puppy’s attempts to play handily. The puppy would always go submissive if the cat stood her ground and growled… i don’t want to believe the puppy managed to get her paws or mouth on the cat and i didn’t even notice.