Week 1 of driving a bus for TriMet in actual “revenue service” is now behind me. No fatalities, no broken mirrors, no paint scraped off the bus onto utility poles and five days of, I believe, mostly satisfied customers. That is my new definition of “win.”

These past 51 days have been unlike anything that has come before. Seriously, anything. In these past few weeks I went from essentially “zero” to being CDL Class B with a Passenger endorsement in-service bus driver for the transportation authority of Portland. That’s not much, but it’s not nothing.

The Training

Getting the CDL

Having experienced private pilot training and three-day motorcycle safety training I want to state, for whatever official record there might be, that TriMet’s CDL prep training is excellent. I can say with authority that it worked for me and most of the others in my cohort. In two weeks students, most of whom never held a commercial driver’s license, get shepherded through the process of learning to maneuver a big, heavy, lumbering vehicle thorough a maze of cones in a practice yard, then out on real streets, and finally tested per Federal and Oregon regulations. I was fortunate to get exposure to four different TriMet trainers. Every one of them had a distinct and totally different style, but every one of them was equally committed to the task at hand. Nobody phoned it in.

As in all good training students are coached to higher standards than the eventual test. When the dreaded day of the actual road test arrives most, myself included, finish with a sense of “damn, that wasn’t so bad.” And while it might seem trivial to many I walked out of DMV with my interim CDL license folded in my wallet with a distinct sense of accomplishment and even some pride. My only complaint about the process is pass with 100% or pass by the skin of your teeth everybody gets the same license, but that’s true of any profession.

Classroom Time

While the CDL and road portions of the training was excellent the classroom portion, which is a significant block of time, was not. The classroom portion consisted almost entirely of trainers reading PowerPoint slides and watching extremely out of date videos. For disgruntled former TriMet employees who enjoy hurling rocks at the agency via social media for misusing tax payer dollars I can guarantee TriMet is not spending it on PowerPoint and video productions.

Worse still is being subjected to HR-ish presentations days before the final assessment drive and graduation when all I wanted was additional time behind the wheel. Frankly I was terrified of the coming “graduation” and the final line in the training schedule simply proclaiming “Begin regular service!”

Line Training

The most intense and helpful part of the training process is “line training.” That is when students go out on the road with other drivers in actual “revenue service.”[1. Revenue Service is the universal term TriMet uses to describe a vehicle or operator employed making money for the agency. It is of particular significance if something untoward occurs.] Again I want to state for whatever record that line training is excellent and must be expanded to at least 10 days if not two full weeks. Yes, I made my opinion very clear to trainers. Line training came at the perfect point in the training schedule, after I’d have spent enough time driving with my instructor on various portions of actual routes, but before I was feeling anything approaching confidence. Road training hits various points around the city presenting specific challenges. The first time through many points I thought, and probably said, “you want me to thread this whale through there?” But by the third or fourth time I was moving toward the “bring it on” point. Then line training came along and smacked me down hard.

Skill and confidence behind the wheel is important (duh!), but when driving a 40 foot beast is suddenly coupled with watching for stealthy customers at pitch dark service stops in the pouring rain on a route you’ve never driven while trying to keep to a schedule things get a bit intense. Welcome to line training.

Fortunately the trainer who assembled my line training schedule was either being very kind or I just got lucky. I started my week of line training on dark Sunday morning driving the 88 route. The number 88 has been good to me. Years ago when we lived in Minneapolis I would ride my motorcycle south along the Mississippi to Winona, cross the river to Wisconsin and turn north up 35 then split off on Hwy 88. 88 was a great road that twists and turns though unexpectedly steep limestone canyons and picture postcard dairy farms nestled in snug valleys that look more like Vermont than does Vermont. Hwy 88 was good to me, the #88 bus route was also good to me.

The 88 is essentially a “milk run” between two transit centers in the suburbs west of Portland. It is a sought after “high seniority”[2. Everything at TriMet is based on seniority. Routes are selected by seniority, vacations are approved or not based on seniority. And the old adage is true “seniority sucks if you ain’t senior.”] route, especially on Sunday mornings. Turns out my line trainer called in sick that day, so I was paired with an “extra board” driver taking the route this Sunday. He took the unexpected addition of a total newbie driver in stride and provided a great introduction to the reality of driving a bus as an actual job. He was an old-timer who didn’t have one bit of crust. He summed the job thusly: “Drive safe, be nice to people, keep an eye on the schedule.” He also hastened to add “while in probation[3. Probation begins on the first day of “revenue service” after graduation and continues for six months. While in probation operators can be terminated for any reason, and will be terminated if they accumulate two oversleeps or have two preventable accidents or PAs.] , focus exclusively on the first two.”

The rest of line training progressed smoothly, ramping quickly from “milk run” to “holy crap!” over the course of the week. For the last two days I drove the full #15. Anybody familiar with Portland knows the 15. It is a long route going from Gateway Transit Center out east, all the way into downtown via Stark and Belmont (Belmont being mostly a two-lane hipster corridor), then out to one of two different endpoints via “the Burnside Turn” (where stuck busses have caused epic traffic jams) and Northwest 23rd street. NW 23rd is an affluent insanely busy two-lane street lined with high-end shops, numerous popular restaurants, and parked solid on both sides with Mercedes, Audis, BMWs and delivery vans. Busses going in opposite directions can only pass each other at intersections. Well, no, that’s not entirely true; they can pass at other points provided the drivers are willing to put scant inches of clearance on the right sides and crawl past each other so that in the event of a mirror strike they’ll just fold back and not break. Oh, and depending on where the route ends, it might include the only point in the TriMet system where backing the bus to make a U-turn is written into the procedures.

But I survived it… about 8 times over the course of two days. And I was treated to two different line trainer’s personal styles for dealing with the congested street. As you might expect I crawled along the street whereas the experienced drivers just cruised along seemingly oblivious to the gazillion hazards just waiting to pop out and ruin their days. One upside is at least we’re not they’re looking for parking which is nonexistent. I’m not embarrassed to say that after the first day on the 15 I was exhausted. I mean really exhausted.

After a Week of Service

So one week of “revenue service” is now behind me. I drive two different routes, the #8 in the early morning and the #14 in the evening rush. I have seven hours between my driving shifts. Again I consider myself lucky in that I have two totally different routes that are both good. I’ll have these routes until December 5th when the next cycle of routes [4. Operators select routes quarterly by seniority. Two months before the next quarter begins every route in the system is “packaged” and the packages are then printed on large sheets of paper and taped to a long corridor at all garages. Operators have weeks to review the packages and make “wish lists.” Signup is then announced and every operator is given a sign up time based, you guessed it, on seniority. Theoretically each operator has two minutes to make their selection. Smart operators do their homework and come prepared with long wish lists because, if you’re not senior, all the good routes will already be gone by the time less-senior operators get their chance.] kick in.

The 8 in the morning starts in a neighborhood north of Portland and comes south through increasingly affluent neighborhoods, turns west and goes past Lloyd Center mall to the Rose Quarter Transit Center, crosses the Steel Bridge[5. The Steel bridge is extremely narrow. Portland is a city of bridges with 11 auto/truck/transit bridges crossing the Willamette river. The Steel bridge is the most narrow with only about 4 inches of clearance on each side of the tires.], traverses the Transit Mall[6. the Portland Transit Mall is a complicated web of auto, bus and light rail the crosses the entire length of downtown Portland from north to south along 5th and 6th Avenues. There are many, very specific, rules to be followed, and the risk of blocking the Max light rail is constant. However once you get a feel for the rules it’s actually an easy part of the route.], then exits the mall on the north side and heads up to OHSU. No Annette doesn’t ride with me.[7. She’s still at home asleep.] I then repeat the route in the opposite direction, layover for 20 minutes at the northern point, then repeat the route again but after descending from OHSU I’m “relieved on the road[8. “Road Relief” is a dastardly invention by some TriMet executive who was searching for a way to cut down on deadheading. It’s where an operator meets a bus out on the road at a pre-determined stop and swaps with the current operator. I find it a frustrating time sink that will really suck once winter arrives.]” by a driver who takes over and I catch the MAX either home or back to the garage.

The 14 in the afternoon is completely different. I relieve the driver in downtown Milwaukie, deadhead[9. Deadheading is a trucker’s term to describe operating a vehicle without revenue cargo. Deadheading with a semi is when just the tractor portion is driven from one point to another. Deadheading with a bus is when the bus is driven empty to or from the start/end of a revenue route. It should be noted that TriMet permits drivers to carry customers (with certain restrictions) while on a deadhead.] back to Center Garage, sit for 15 minutes, then deadhead to a rather arbitrary starting point on the east side of the Willamette and begin my run. I drive west on Madison toward downtown, cross the Hawthorne bridge[10. Inbound on the Hawthorne is a very bright green counter showing the number of bicycles passing that point in the past 12 hours or so. It is always over 2,000 by the time I drive by it. This is significant because many of those people are heading outbound at the same time I am.] , proceed up Madison to Broadway, turn left, go one block, left again on Hawthorne then fill the bus to capacity at three remaining service stops before heading out of town across the Hawthorne bridge once again.

The outbound run from downtown across the bridge to SE 12th Ave is the most challenging. This is where every service stop involves crossing the bike lane when entering or exiting the stop. Remember that counter showing more the 2,000 (sometimes more than 4,000!) bicycles? Here’s where that number becomes personal. I’ve ridden my bicycle on every street in Manhattan (and much of Brooklyn), ridden the 5 borough 5 times and done the New York Century twice so I have an inkling of what a lumbering whale surrounding by swift shrimp should do. There’s no magic trick, the only way to do this is signal early, watch the mirrors, go slow, be prepared to stop and be decisive. The majority of cyclists, like the majority of bus riders, at this point in the day are professionals. The onus is on me to be equally professional. As a former NYC rider I appreciated bus drivers who signaled their intentions early then did what they signaled to do. When I signal I’m veering right into a service stop it’s because in three seconds after signaling I am. So far it has worked out fine (at least from where I’m sitting). At the east end of the bridge I sit at the light with my right signal on. I let the pack assemble in the green bike box ahead of me. When the light goes green I don’t move until the cyclists clear the box. I then accelerate as fast as the whale will go (not fast at all) and begin veering right. So far every cyclist who didn’t make it to the bike box has hung back, letting me cross their path and enter the service stop before zipping around on my left side. I also don’t “drift” over to the right. I swing the nose to the right when halfway through the intersection thus demonstrating that yes, I am going to make this stop, so yes, you should feel confident passing on my left side.

Once done at this, and the subsequent stops, I signal (engaging the “yield” light[10. TriMet buses have a triangular light on the left rear the lights up “YIELD” in bright red LEDs. It carries the same force of law as a “yield” sign and can be engaged as needed when exiting a service stop. Of course cyclists have the right of way in the bike lane, but the light underscores my intentions to pull away from the curb. Some drivers actually obey the light.])carefully check my left mirror, give one more look to the right in case somebody is running to catch me before departing, then, when space permits, I decisively swing the nose of the bus out to the left and accelerate as quickly as possible. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Once past SE 12th the cyclists have peeled off and the next phase of the trip begins. This is the “split the lanes” portion. Hawthorne is four lanes, but there is parking along both curbs and the resulting lanes are too narrow for the bus to maintain adequate right side clearance and have cars passing on the left. Portland residents know this and accept when stuck behind a bus on Hawthorne between SE12th and Caesar Chavez Blvd you’re simply going to be stuck until the bus pulls into a service stop.  After Chavez, Hawthorne becomes two big fat lanes with a center turn lane.  Autos routinely use the turn lane to shoot past buses only to lock up their wheels at the upcoming crosswalk populated by blissfully unaware hipsters crossing to Por Que No? for their evening frivolities.

The route then turns right onto 50th then left onto Foster after crossing Powell transitioning from urban hipster to urban pioneer to non-Anglo then back to Anglo-sketchy and finally back to urban pioneer in the Lents neighborhood near Foster and i205.

At this point, like a newly-minted comedian with good nights in a specific venue might conflate his success with the venue, I love the 14. Heading out of town the vibe on the bus is good. It’s basically hipsters just trying to get home. At first I never said anything other than “thank you” and “have a good evening” but on Thursday and Friday I felt more confident and said stuff like “get friendly back there, make some room. Faster all y’all get settled faster I’ll get you down the road.” I even made a few people laugh. I led the bus in applause when a gold Prius abruptly parallel parked directly in front of me, but managed it with precision and in seconds. Everyone who saw it agreed it was an impressive maneuver.

But I remain mindful of how things could go horribly bad if I lose focus for even a split-second. Training is one thing, but reality is quite different. An unanticipated kid running across at a crosswalk, a tipsy bunch of guys spilling out of any of the dozen bars along the congested portion of the route, anything that brings on a hard stop resulting in a bus load of standing urbanites falling over would end my “career” before it ever gets more than 10 feet off the ground. Statistically 90% of preventable accidents with TriMet involve right side clearance. Having ridden a motorcycle for several years and a bicycle for many, many years I have no problem keeping left and defending my right side. I’d probably be more likely to smack a truck mirror passing on my left side, but at least on the left you can judge distance with finer accuracy. The next biggest stat is “slips, trips and falls” which make up the bulk of the work done by the TriMet legal department. The only way to minimize that is to drive as smoothly as possible and to discourage riders from walking up front whilst pulling into or away from a service stop. Right, discourage people from doing dumb things and being a danger to themselves and others. That always works well.

This is unlike anything I’ve ever attempted and I doubt I’ll ever be “relaxed” when in “the seat,” but looking back on the training and this just-completed first week there is a certain amount of “enjoy the ride” I can claim without irony.